in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
