I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
