watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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