i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
