But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
