The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
