You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
