Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
