Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
She's the barista slut.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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