On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
