I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
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So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
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He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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