Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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