Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
