She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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