ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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