was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
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I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
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Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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