He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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