you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I intend to get homeless drunk
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
