she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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