the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
