So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
