his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
