I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
that may or may not have been my penis.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
