she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
