I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
