Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
