We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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