I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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