I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
