so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
