i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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