Slut skills are useful in every country.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
