dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
