I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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