I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
