Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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