at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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