Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

I'm at derby!

(847): View more from Illinois

The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.

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(970): View more from Colorado

At what point did we cease to have vaginas?

(720): View more from Colorado

Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.

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(503): View more from Oregon

New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.

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(443): View more from Maryland

Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on

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21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Read it at the TFLN blog
(401): View more from Rhode Island

The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge

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(630): View more from Illinois

Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"

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(330): View more from Ohio

Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.

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(941): View more from Florida

He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.

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(716): View more from New York

My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...

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