Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
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And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
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Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.