I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
only you would photoshop your dick
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
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