My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.