So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
I'm going to Hell for sure
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home