I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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