I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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