i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
