OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
