My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
