critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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