have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
