i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
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