Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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