U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
