Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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