I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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