yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
it's great music for shaving your balls
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
