Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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