kristin has been a bad kristin
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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