a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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