how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
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