Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Randomize
