pedialite and red bull = repair kit
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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