toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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