And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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