I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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