just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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