and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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