Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize