its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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