I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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